Vanity thy name is Angie

Vanity, such a small word, creates such a discussion. As we age, we are told vanity is a bad thing. But is it really? This is the age old question that plagues mankind.

From birth I was told I was the prettiest baby ever, then as a chubby checked adolescent I was told how pretty I was. I was going to break the boys’ hearts.

I remember my grandfather teaching me how to read, I was four. My grandmother walked into the room and said “she’s pretty, don’t make her into a bluestocking. She can make a good marriage.” It wasn’t until I read Gone with the Wind that I understood that sentence. I was twelve, I didn’t want to get married. Ever. I wanted to grow up to be the first girl Musketeer.

God bless my parents, they tried their level best to curb that vanity which had been instilled in my psyche since birth.

My dad would tell me how smart I was, while my mom would try and tell me the old adage, pretty is as pretty does.

True beauty, real beauty, starts from the inside and works its way outward. While that is all good and fine, vanity they name is Angie.

I believe a healthy dose of vanity is a good thing. I know, I spent the last 2 to 3 to 4 years without my vanity. A shadow of myself, as it were. Once one loses the ability to care about what they look like on a daily basis, society as we know it begins to fall. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither are beauty queens.

It takes a lot of effort, time and money to look as good as I do. It gets a lot harder and more expensive as I advance in age.

If you truly are a person who doesn’t care about what you look like, let’s examine that for a minute.

Do you bathe?

Do you brush your hair?

Do you wash your face and moisturize?

Do you put on fresh clothes?

Do you make sure your clothes match?

I’m willing to bet there is a modicum of vanity in everyone.

I will be the first to admit it is working in overdrive in my DNA. I am pretty, I know I’m pretty, I do not suffer from false modesty. I do not have self-esteem issues. I do admit I had self-doubt for a few years, but that was due to me allowing another person to dictate how I felt about myself. Guess what, I’m back, I’m vain and I am not afraid to say I am proud of that.

Reunion, Boots and Tattoos

Ok, so, next weekend is my high school reunion. For those of you keeping track, it’s number 35.

I am stupidly excited about this, I ordered new boots, I hope they will be here before I leave on Thursday. They are over the knee, pink, high heels and incredibly awesome.

Why not go all out, they have the boots in red as well, I figured I’d start with the pink and if I love them I’ll go back for the red.

Lately I feel as if I am coming out of a dream state, ok, nightmare state. I am getting back to me, all the things I loved about me.

Boot obsession is one of those things, and sweater dresses. It’s the season and I look good in those things.

I am regaining my sense of fun and whimsy as well, along with my love of all things D.C. And Marvel.

So, for my upcoming birthday I have decided I want a new tattoo. I was thinking about the Superman symbol, I’ve wanted that for a long time. But then I thought if Dean Cain and I get married how weird would that be. I then had the thought, on Friday, the 13th, I want the number 13 incorporated somehow. 13 is a great number in my family. My mom and dad were married on a Friday the 13th. That number has alway symbolized great love and good fortune to me.

So now I want a tattoo with 13 incorporated in it somehow. I am going to really have to give this some thought.

As usual, any comments or questions can be sent to angie@angieworld.com.

Well Hello World

Welcome to the all new Angie World, well not new, but it is officially all mine! I don’t think anyone will ever fully understand how completely joyous that makes me.

So, I have been waiting patiently to write until the transfer was complete and I have been holding some things in. Buckle up people, it’s gonna be a ride.

First off, corn is not a vegetable, it is a grain, it is what farmers feed cattle to fatten them up for slaughter. Think about that when you have nothing green on your plate, or your children’s plates. Go green, your body will thank you later.

Next, if you are in the passing lane I’m gonna need you to find your gas pedal. It is beyond ridiculous that you get in that lane and go as slow as possible. Whenever I get in my car the first thing I hear is I feel the need, the need for speed. You are hampering me in that endeavor, I greatly enjoy driving and I particularly enjoy driving fast. Get out of my lane!

I feel so much better. On to other business, I am still loving where I live so very much. It is very peaceful and God has blessed me with a great environment.  The dog, the cat and I are very happy indeed. We start every morning by singing and dancing, ok, Storm and I are dancing and singing, Ronald just stares. Wondering when he will be able to conquer this world he lives in.

Alexa and I are coming to terms, now when I ask for disco music she complies. No more telling me to speak English, which I am, granted with an Owasso accent, but that is still English.

I had a great day today, I admit, at first I was going to stay home all day in my pajamas. Watching movie after movie, maybe some episodes of Luther thrown in for good measure. Then I heard from a friend, she threw out the let’s meet today, so God said get dressed. Man am I glad I did, we had the best afternoon, we talked, laughed and prayed. Several times, over her life and ministry and over my life. I felt so calm and peaceful when we parted company. I came home to complete the transfer of my website so I can control it. All in all, a really good day.

I had a lot more to say, but I didn’t write any of it down as I was thinking it, which I should have. Because there were some fine rants in there.

Anyway, that’s all for now, just a quick update and a few mini rants. Remember, eat your greens!

As usual, all remarks can be posted here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com.

Dead Neighbors

So I thought my neighbors were dead, turns out they’re not, but I did think they were for a few days. There had been zero movement from their house, even leaving their trash can at the curb for 5 days. A definite no-no according to the HOA, however, I saw them today and they are not dead. Major relief, no one wants to live next door to dead people.
I don’t know them, I have seen them a few times, the kids have said hello to me, the mother gave me a dirty look and I have only seen the dad from afar. Not sure why the dirty look, unless it is because I am a single female living alone. She need not worry, her husband is not my type, being that he is married. Married is not my type, period. It never has been and never will be, so no married ladies need worry that I am looking at their husband thinking I got to get me some of that.
I have been doing a lot of meal prep, as I have said on here, I usually do the same meal for all 5 work days. Today I did something different, 3 different meals for five days. It was a lot more work, time-consuming, however I think the payoff will be worth it.
The cleanse is going well, one of the pills made my tongue numb, but that part of it is done. So no more numb tongue for me.
I miss coffee so much, I got a shipment of Black Riffle Coffee yesterday and I actually hugged the bag and drew in a deep breath. Through my nose, so I could smell the goodness within.
I look forward to drinking it, on September 19th, I shall come home from work and make a huge pot of coffee and drink it all. In one sitting. I will be euphoric, caffeine high, mountain momma. Oh wait, that’s part of a song, I am delirious in my deprivation.
The cleanse is working though, my heartburn is completely gone, it dissipated with my move, now it is totally gone. Also my belly bloat is gone, in the past, no matter what I gave up, it was always there. Now, gone, as of Tuesday, I noticed no more belly pain. I credit this with the cleanse, clean eating, fascia blaster and the belly ball.
I am exhausted from all of that, but happy with the results, weight is leaving me, due to all of that and the working out.
All of this clean living leaves me wondering when I will get to be bad again. I seriously need to get into trouble, not get arrested trouble, just fun trouble. Oh maybe in Owasso, in October, I’ll find it there.
I will still be traveling with my coffeemaker, nothing weird about that.
Does anyone else do that? Travel with their coffeemaker? No? Just me? Coffeemaker and Black Riffle coffee, let’s not forget that, I am a coffee snob and I like it.
Well, that’s all I have for today, my neighbors are not dead and I still can’t have coffee.
Any probes into my sanity can be sent to angie@angieworld.com

Age Rant

As you know by now, I am a big fan of Kellie Raspberry of the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning Show. I also listen to her and her husband, Allen Evans, podcast, A Sandwich and Some Lovin’.
The other night they did a Facebook live recording for their new episode. They happened to have a love expert on, a real life matchmaker. I was interested in what she had to say regarding women my age, I knew it would come up, Kellie has a large fan base with women my age range.
Sure enough the question came up, where do women who are over 50 go to meet men to date.
I wish you all could have seen the look on this woman’s face, I don’t even remember her name, she was horrified that women over 50 would even want to date.
The hesitation in her voice, the look of horror, the though process that clearly showed on her face. Finally she said well it’s very competitive and honestly there isn’t anything until you hit about 55 then men that age want to date in their age range.
The look on Kellie’s face was thank God I got engaged right before I turned 50.
Apparently my first instinct was correct, I will never date again, this time it isn’t my choice. It is because I am past my expiration date. I can only hope that this woman will be happy when she is past hers, alone with her cat, thinking I wonder why I told women who are over 50 they are too old to date.
I’m gonna tell you something, I am just a little bit angry by some of the things she had to say to all of us old gals.
She said never leave your house without looking your best, like I seriously go out in pajamas, house slippers and curlers in my hair. I always look presentable. Oh and another thing, have a really great photo on your social media, don’t post anything of you walking your dog at 5am looking a mess. Well, first of all who does that past the age of 25, B.) women of a certain age don’t really like walking their dog at 5am and I thought we were all supposed to have cats!
Oh and she said go to church, she didn’t say to meet men, she probably meant go to church and pray some man finds you attractive.
I’m done, done, I will not be dating, I will not be a walking glamour shot hoping some man will take notice of me. Unless I thought that would get me Dean Cain, I’m not doing it.
Oh and she said lose weight, then Kellie kinda called her out and said some men like women who are bigger. Then she said oh yeah I guess. What and ever!
Yes, I work out and am seriously caffeine and sugar deprived right now, which is probably why I am ranting more than I usually would about this. However to tell women who are over 50 they are just out of luck. She was simply horrified a woman that old would have the nerve to want to find someone to spend the rest of their miserably old life with.
A huge part of me hopes she finds herself alone at 50, sitting in her house with her cat wondering why can’t I find a man.
I am gonna tell you what, if I wanted to find a man, other than Dean Cain, I could find one. I am Angie, I am the empress, I am in control of where I want my life to go, even if I am older than the hills.
I seriously can’t wait till this thirty days are up.
Any questions or concerns for my sanity can be sent to angie@angieworld.com

Jeffrey Andrew

Today is a day that will live in infamy. Well, at least in our family. Today is the day that my beautiful, oldest son Jeffrey was born. In 1985. 1985. It seems like just a moment ago you were holding my hand and thinking I had all the answers to the universe.

You were always curious, energetic and had great introspective.

My favorite memory of your toddlerhood is when you three years old, we were driving past a fire station. You told me that you wanted to grow up to be the person that fixes the fire trucks. I asked why that job. Most little boys wanted to be a fireman. You said “mommy, someone has to make sure the firemen gets to the fire.”

That sentence sums up who you were and who you continue to be. The caretaker. I love you so much son, your strength, your character and your ability to make sure the firemen get to the fire.

I thank God every single day that I get to be your mom. I also thank Him every day that you allow me to be a part of your daughter’s life.

On this day, the day that you were born, I celebrate the privilege of being chosen to be your mom.

I love you son.

Run Away!

There is an episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelai laments that the Lorelai look is over. I so totally commiserate with this, the Angie look is over. I literally cannot find clothes I love anymore.
I love a good boot cut jean that sits a little low in the waist, not super low, just below the belly button. Shirts fitted, always fitted, I am not into loose, I never have been. No matter my size, I might add.
With the rise in skinny jean popularity Angie style has gone the way of the dinosaur. I hate skinny jeans, just FYI, I feel like I am an encased sausage. I love a good flare with super high heels. I actually look like I have long legs, I look good! I have a ton of shoes to go with that look.
Now, I do like a good pair of jeans tucked into boots in the winter as well, only a skinny jean can pull that look off. Otherwise the ankles on the boots look like you have cankles. Not a good look people!
If anyone finds any Angie jeans please let me know, do a friend a favor. A fashion favor, as it were.

Today was a great day, I am going to start a cleanse, using essential oils and minerals. I will also be going back to the 3 in 30, you know, absolutely no grains, no dairy and no processed sugar. All for thirty days, also no eating out, as it is just too hard to do while on this. I will begin on Sunday and will report back.
Fair warning to all of my friend and family, the first week I will not be pleasant. I will be grouchy and snarly, I will bite if provoked.
The end result will be me looking amazing for my high school reunion, our 35th high school reunion, I might add.
I seriously can’t wait to see everyone and just have a good time.
Oh, speaking of, Elizabeth Anne is making fun of me for saying that I traveled with my coffee maker. I see nothing wrong with this, I love my coffee and love my coffee maker, I have whole coffee beans and my coffeemaker grinds them before making the coffee. It is fresh and amazing, every single time. Why would I leave that at home? It is one of the loves of my life, for my cleanse, though, I have to give it up. No coffee for thirty days, I don’t even comprehend what I have agreed to.
No coffee, I know I only drink coffee on my days off now, but that is literally 24 cups of coffee a week I am giving up. I can’t even do the math, it is too incomprehensible. Maybe I should live in a cave for a few weeks, not be around humans, humans might appreciate that.
I give up sugar all the time, then I fall off the wagon, what makes this different is I can have dark chocolate and local honey.
I can do this, I have to do this, my looks depend on it.
As usual any comments can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com

Heaven

What I am about to say might make more than a few people unhappy with me. That’s pretty normal though, I have a knack for doing that. It is very controversial in today’s Christian community, what I am about to say, so read at your own risk.
Whenever someone dies I have seen and heard people saying oh so and so is now looking over you from heaven. Or, the ever popular, they are an angel now.
I don’t believe either, as a matter of fact the Bible dispels that quite handily.
Take for example: “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
What that says to me is that everyone who is in Heaven is at perfect peace, no more tears, no more sorrow. If they are looking down at what is going on here, on earth, is that a peaceful existence? I think not, I for one, believe that if my mother saw how much I still grieve for her she would be saddened. Therefore not at perfect peace, there would be sorrow in her heart that I am sad.
Or, if my dad could see what the last couple of years of my life had been like, he would have been angry with me for putting up with so many things. Once again, not at perfect peace, his heart would be in pain for what I allowed to happen and how I was treated.
I don’t want to think that when we die that we will still know what is going on here on earth. I want to think of my mother walking down that street of gold, whistling her little heart out. When she was happy, she whistled, so I know she is whistling in heaven.
I want to think of my grandpa working on a car, or doing biblical research all day long. That is what made him happy.
My grandmother happily watching The Days of Our Lives and eating candy.
I don’t want them to have sorrow and tears in Heaven.
The Bible tells us other things as well: “The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, the lion shall eat straw like the ox, and dust [shall be] the serpent’s food. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain,” says the LORD (Isaiah 65:25).
What that says to me is that animals will be there, none will be harmful, poisonous or predatory. I’ll finally be able to pet a lion and I will be quite joyous.
We also do not turn into Angels, Angels are God’s creation, separate from man. God created man to have freewill and come to Him willingly, joyfully. Angels were created to do God’s bidding, to obey Him without condition or freewill.
When I die, I will not be watching what is happening on earth, I will be incredibly busy catching up with my mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, great aunt Effie and my son, Michael. I will also be seeing a host of aunts, uncles, cousins and now my brother Jesse.
I look forward to it, I am not afraid to die, I don’t want to die, well, ever, but I have no fear of it.
I will be petting lions, seeing Nocona and rejoicing at the throne of God.
If you don’t agree with me, well, that is your freewill, I for one, do not want to think that my dead loved ones are watching my every move. I want to know I am truly alone when I am in certain places and doing certain things.
As usual, any comments or disagreements can be issued here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com

Missing

The beginning of August is always a little bumpy for me, Michael’s birthday is today August 9, my mom passed on August 11, and now August 3 will be a little rough as that is the day my brother Jesse passed.
As most of you know I am adopted, everyone should really know that by now as it is, for better or worse, part of my identity.
Jesse was the youngest of my siblings, he was 20 years older than I. Even at that, he was a really great big brother in my teenage years. Jesse always had a mischievous glint in his eyes, even as an adult, you could tell there was something there, just under the surface, waiting to come out. A funny joke, a stinging comeback (for which we are all famous for) or comforting words.
He was equal parts funny, sarcastic, caring and a good son to my parents.
There is one time in particular that always comes to mind:
One day I was sitting in the den watching television and Jesse walked in. He didn’t say a word he just sat down next to me. He sighed heavily instigating the tell me what’s wrong conversation.
He looked at me and said you know Angie I told my kids that they shouldn’t even try to think of anything ornery to do because I’ve done it all. There is nothing you can think of that I have not done.
He was right about that, he was a really ornery child according to my parents. The original Dennis the Menace, please note, in my family orneriness is a gift.
I looked at him and said you’re stupid, you didn’t give your kids a warning, you issued a challenge.
He looked at me and said I realize that now. He went on to say those kids of mine thought of things I would never have thought to do.
I laughed for a solid five minutes because I knew that was true.
All three of his children were true Testerman’s, funny, smart and mischievous in nature. All of those traits are considered positive in my family.
This world will miss his humor, the glint in his eyes, the smile that made you wonder what he was up to and when the other shoe would drop.
I am completely grateful my daughter, Elizabeth Anne, traveled to Owasso with me to say goodbye. There are many things I will never talk about here, just know, that girl is my rock star, my hero, my protector when needed.
As usual, any complaints, comments or just to tell me how awesome I am can be left here or sent to angie@angieworld.com

Single Woman Problems

Anyone ever have lawnmower issues? I’m not talking the machine kind. I’m talking the human kind.
When I first moved here the leasing company had hired a local man to mow the lawn. He did a good job and I hired him to mow the lawn on a permanent basis.
I told him I would like it mowed on Fridays if possible, he said he would fit me in.
Perfect, I was happy, his prices were reasonable and he could come on the day I needed him to. No issues, right?
The first week went by, no one showed, second week, I called and left a voicemail, I said I thought we had made arrangements and if he was not able to fulfill that please let me know so I could hire someone else.
He sends me a text and apologizes profusely saying he would be there the next day. He does show up, mowed the lawn, everything is good.
The next time he shows up on Saturday, at 8pm, to say I wasn’t happy would not be an understatement. I have to work on Sunday, be there early, 8pm on a Saturday is a huge inconvenience for me.
After he mows the lawn he comes to the door for payment, then it got weird, he just stood there talking. I just stared at him. He finally left and I finished out my evening rituals and then he started texting.
I just stared at the phone, why, oh why are you texting me, he was flirting. This was not happening, number one, I pay you, number 2, you are not reliable and last but not least you are not Dean Cain.
Before anyone gets up in arms saying I’m a snob because the man works with his hands, my dad was a mechanic, my ex-husband was a mechanic, my youngest son is an auto body technician and my oldest son runs an auto repair shop. My uncles worked on cars, my cousins, second cousins, I come from a long lineage of blue-collar workers.
So it goes on, I’m not very responsive, but I still need someone to mow the yard. Then comes the weekend where he was a no show on Friday, Saturday comes around, no-show, Sunday same song and dance. He finally shows on Monday, I had left the money under the welcome mat. He took the money and left, he finally shows back up on Wednesday.
I am incredibly fortunate my youngest son’s girlfriend, Elicia was there. She owns her own pool company so her truck basically looks like what people would associate with a man truck.
He mowed that lawn in lightning time, haven’t heard from him since.
I still needed someone to mow the lawn. Well, here’s the rub, I have a lawn mower. It wasn’t working, so I asked Alex to look at it last night.
He was able to fix it and it runs like a dream! I mowed my own yard! Alex did the front last night after he got the mower running. He wanted to make sure it was working.
I have a reliable lawn mower now, me.
I’m still not sure why he thought he could hit on me, I didn’t flirt, I didn’t invite that kind of attention. It was a little disconcerting.
I wonder if Dean knows how to fix a lawn mower, or how to mow a lawn.