Terry Crews

Ok, so, I was on Twitter and something caught my eye, I know, it’s usually Facebook, but not today, today it was Twitter and it was Terry Crews. He tweeted about his own personal experience with sexual assault. He said he was telling his story to let everyone know that women are not the only ones effected by this plague.

I don’t even know how the man had the nerve to do that to him, Terry Crews is not a small man, what has to go through someones brain to think that’s doable?

I want to start off by saying I love Terry Crews, not in a Dean Cain kind of way, but in a I love his acting kind of way. He’s incredibly funny, I cannot resist a big, athletic man doing comedy, I can’t explain it, but I love it. Mr. Crews made White Chicks, he stole the show. Just greatness.

He also comes across as very geniune, he seems to be very devoted to his wife and children, never caught up in a scandal. I believe him, I believe him when he says Adam Venit assaulted him, I believe it was incredibly brave of him to tell that story.

First off it’s not considered manly in our society to admit to things of this nature. For a man to be the victim in this situation, especially a man as physically big as Terry Crews. For him to come out and tell his story is amazing and brave and deserves headlines. It doesn’t take away from women who are assaulted and taken advantage of, instead it deepens the conversation. Who is safe in this world?

I have to wonder what went through that man’s head at that moment, for him to think this was ok. I have no words, I often wonder what makes anyone think this is ok.

Words are one thing, to say that women allow certain behavior from certain types of men are one thing. The acting out of said words is completely different.

I come from a world filled with men, manly men, blue collar workers. Mechanics, linemen, union men, I have heard everything in the world. I am so not easily offended, I can give as good as I get. I, myself, am pretty intimidating, which is probably one of the reasons I am not messed with.

I remember one time, in the 6th grade, an older boy decided to see if he could corner me and I honestly don’t know what he thought he wanted to do to me. I can tell you what I did to him, I grabbed him and beat the crap out of him. I was a tough little thing, his friends stood around and watched and spread the word, don’t mess with Angie.

No one ever did again in that school, and no other school, nor on any jobs I’ve ever had.

I’m not a nice person, typically things like this happen to nice people. I believe it’s because predators see nice people as easy targets.

I am not saying nice people ask for things like this to happen to them, I am saying predators know who their prey is.

I will tell you I have been mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by someone that told me he loved me. And then began to prove by his very actions it was not the case, and it took me a long time to escape that situation. I should have much sooner than I did, but I did, I am not weak for having stayed as long as I did. As a matter of fact it has made me stronger and just that much more resolved to spend the rest of my life alone, unless Dean Cain shows up. A whole different story.

Having said that, Mr. Crews, I will go see anything you star in, or have a supporting role in, I will watch you on tv, listen to your interviews. Everything. You sir are brave, strong and I want you to know I stand with you, as do your many fans. God bless you, many prayers going to you and your family.

Justice League

So I saw Justice League yesterday, I highly enjoyed it, way better than Superman vs Batman. While I love Marvel, I LOVE DC and am so happy they seem to be getting their act together as far as movies go.

The CW does DC right on television, from Smallville to the ones on now, Arrow, Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl needs some work. Not a fan of the teenage angst that is going on among the adults on the show. I do love the fact that the CW incorporates actors from former movies and shows of the DC world.

Back to the movie, no spoilers as it just came out this weekend, I will say stay for the very end of the credits. There are two end of credit scenes, one is fun and one is a look ahead.

Everyone knows I love Superman, I have loved him since I was 4 years old and picked up my first comic. My real hero is Lois Lane, she was human and said what she wanted, did what she wanted and told the world what was going on. I wanted to be her from the get go, I still want to be her. Part of me is still that little girl who wanted so very badly to grow up and tell the world what was going on.

Undercover assignments, exposing corruption and telling the world about it, she was everything I wanted to be.

There are no Lois Lane’s in todays world, there are only Kat Grants. The Kat Grant that was a gossip columnist, not the Kat Grant portrayed on Supergirl. The one that tried to get Clark Kent to abandon his Kansas morals.

Those are the only women journalists I see on television, ones that have sold their souls. Where are the ones that are unbiased? The ones that just tell what is going on? Where are they? Are they lost forever? Never to be heard from again?

I don’t have an answer. Just a lot of suppositions, right or wrong, there you have it.

I have a very exciting week next week, I work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, have off on Wednesday, which is a very full day. Taking Tess for her Christmas pictures for one. Then back to work on Thursday and Friday.

No Thanksgiving feasts for me, I have no one to spend that holiday with, I haven’t since 1993. I turn down friends invitations as they are pity offers and I do believe we all know how I feel about that.

These days even my friends have stopped issuing invitations because they know I will say no. I always felt weird going to someone’s house on a holiday, that I’m not related to. Does that sentence make sense? I don’t even know.

But there you have it, I don’t want to, I feel awkward and weird and I don’t like those feelings, so I work and then go home. I works out well for me and I do believe it works out well for others.

I do miss going to my parents for Thanksgiving, the days where everyone was there. My nephews, niece, brothers and sister and their spouses, the house was filled with laughter, food and so much fun.

Nothing can really ever take the place of that feeling, it’s better to just stay home than to remember what I no longer have.

So, since 1993, I have not celebrated Thanksgiving, not because I’m not thankful, but because I don’t want others to see how very alone I am.

I want my children to continue their tradition of celebrating with their dad’s side of the family. I want them to enjoy that and have the best time.

I’ll celebrate when I die and see my parents again, then it will be a real Thanksgiving. With all that implies.

Thor and Other Stuff

So much going on in my world right now, the holidays are upon us and surprises are everywhere.

Huge surprise of Friday night dinner was finding out Jeffrey asked his girlfriend Amanda to marry him! We are all very happy for him and her. She is a good addition to our family.

Tessa has agreed to the annual Christmas pictures, on one condition, nothing fancy. She said I got fancy last year so this year can’t be fancy. I almost can’t process it, but I am nothing if not flexible. I do believe I have found the perfect outfit. I’m not going to tell, I’m going to let it be a surprise.

I saw Thor: Ragnarok today, I was not disappointed, however I am a bit discombobulated by the experience. Loki or Thor, it’s a tough decision, a real conundrum.

However, BBFF to the rescue, he said date Loki and settle down with Thor. Perfect.

I know what you are thinking, where does this leave Dean. It’s all fine, it’s different universes, so I’m all good.

I have made a decision regarding my next tattoo. I have wanted the Superman symbol and 13 incorporated somehow. I have changed my mind, after much consideration I have decided I want a Viking symbol with 13 incorporated.

I feel very connected to that part of my ancestry. The more I learn of them the more I realize how much of my genetic makeup came from them.

I’m a fighter, a survivor, I don’t back down, when cornered I come out swinging and I don’t miss.

I want something that will always remind me of who I am and where I get my survival instincts.

The movie was greatness, I expected nothing less from Loki, I mean Thor, I mean Marvel. If you haven’t seen it, go, now, like drop everything and go.

Adventures

Ok, so, I am doing better, potato lodged in esophagus issue gone.

I have decided this will be my year of yes. I have had too many years of telling my friends no.

No to going to their homes for gatherings or movies or dinner, lunch, whatever. I would say no, not due to them, but what was going on in my life.

I have started saying yes and actually leaving my house. Case in point, last night I went to a gathering to say farewell to my favorite trainer. He is moving on and I am sad for me, happy for him. He is a great motivator and I know he is going to do great things. I’ll also miss him because he laughs at my jokes, if you don’t find me funny, we can’t be friends.

We went to Gloria’s, a fabulous place here in North Texas. We were having so much fun we decide to continue the party at a second location, Wild Salsa.

This is where things get interesting. I am going to digress for a moment, I genuinely love this group of people. I honestly never thought I would join a gym and make such wonderful friends. But I did and now they are stuck with me. What a deal, I get healthy and make friends.

Back to my story, we are at the second place and we spy two Cougars in their natural habitat.

I know what you are thinking, Angie, aren’t you a Cougar. Technically I probably could be categorized as one. I am of a certain age and I seem to attract younger men. That’s where the definition stops with me.

These two were real Cougars, it was amazing to watch. They latched on to the bartender. Which I found irritating, not because I thought he was cute, I did not, in all honesty he was a little old for me. I was was irritated because he was so busy sticking his tongue down both of their throats, yes both, he couldn’t make my drink.

I was all like um drink maker person come do your actual job. Then, to my delight, I saw another drink maker, I was mollified.

The Cougars were incredibly aggressive, they went after their prey with precision and cunning, one could tell they had honed their skills with many years of practice. One of the Cougars was a mere 2 years younger than myself. She honed in on her young prey with practiced ease. She was hunting for someone younger than the bartender. To my knowledge she did not bag her prey last night, but she did manage to slip him her number.

I don’t know if I am impressed or horrified or embarrassed. I’m not aggressive, I never have been, in my entire life, in any relationship. I’ve always been the one being chased, oh, wow, I’ve been the prey. Ok the analogy is getting a little murky.

I do have to wonder does that behavior work for the long term. Or, better pondering, are these aggressive women just looking for the now.

I’m not looking for anything at all. I just want to go out and Cindy Lauper it.

Chew Your Food

So I did something stupid Saturday afternoon that I’m still recovering from today.

Let me start off by telling you I have esophagus issues. I have to take small bites and chew really well, otherwise bad things happen.

Well, Saturday afternoon bad things happened. I was eating a bite of potato and I didn’t chew well and it was a bigger bite and it became lodged in my esophagus.

No big deal I thought, I’ll just drink some water and see if that will push it down. Or help me throw up and it will dislodge that way.

Nope, it was stuck in there pretty good, I just threw up everything I ate and drank after that. So I stopped eating, I kept drinking, hoping the liquid would get the potato out of my esophagus.

Nothing worked. I have to be honest, by Sunday I was beginning to get a little worried. By Monday morning it was a full on panic.

I decided to try a Coke, thinking either the carbonation or the Coke acid would remedy things. It did not. I just threw up Coke. And it was disgusting and painful. I really thought I was going to have to go to the emergency room. Which I don’t want to, they would have to put me under and scope me. I hate being under anesthesia. I have a really hard time coming out of it.

I told my friend Debbie what was happening because she said Angie you don’t look too good, are you ok.

She then told me in Taiwan people drink vinegar to dissolve fish bones in their throat. She’s Taiwanese, so I thought what the heck. Because at this point I am seriously becoming dehydrated and weak from not being able to eat.

I went home Monday evening and drank a small glass of vinegar. Not apple cider vinegar, but the white stuff. That I use for cleaning.

I about died. I thought Debbie told me that to torture me.

A few hours later I felt the potato dislodge and move on. Debbie is sooooo smart.

Because of my mishap I am still catching up on my liquid intake and eating has not been fun as my throats is sore from throwing up so much and from the potato lodged in it.

Lesson I learned is chew your food.

Memes, Use Them Wisely

Ok, so, there is something that is on my mind and it has to do with Facebook, of course. We all know I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Oh and this time it is Instagram as well, I never thought I would have this kind of relationship with Instagram, but there it is, out in the open. It is a meme, yes a meme, well several that I’ve seen lately, that has me, well, for lack of a better term, pissed off.

The offensive meme or memes, if you will, because they all pop up in different forms, is all about how if you love someone you will stay with them when they are going through a hard time.

Well, let me tell you something, someone else’s hard time does not mean you have to stay in an abusive relationship. Maybe these memes are meant for that, but it washes all over me, because people get to play the victim. Oh this person left me when I was going through a hard time. They are a bad person.

Let’s examine some things shall we, if you are with someone who, for example, drinks till they piss themselves then screams obscenities at you and kicks walls and breaks doors and puts your physical, mental and emotional well-being into jeopardy, you get to leave them and their hard time in the dust.

These memes are stupid, yes, I said it, stupid, because no one knows what the other persons hard time did to the one who left.

Wow, that felt good, I’m glad I got that out, it feels good to vent a little.

Was that a little too honest? maybe. Was it a little too telling? Maybe. Was it a little too harsh? Maybe. Was it honest? Yes.

I know I am projecting, and taking things personally, but maybe I get to do that in my world. Oh, wait, it is my world, so yes, definitely I get to project and take things personally.

Growing Old Bites

Ok, so, yesterday I had two men hit on me while at work, they were obviously older gentlemen, so perhaps they were lonely.

I very gently told both of them it was against company policy for me to give them my phone number or take theirs.

I know I should be flattered, and on a level I am, however, they were old. Like 70’s old, and I am not talking 1970s old, I am talking they were at least 70+ in years.

I am not that old, but now I feel like I should just buy a case of cats and call it a day. When did this happen? That I got so old I am no longer attractive? Except to old men!

I don’t understand how and when this happened, I wasted the last 10 years of my life and I truly regret it.

I wish I had foresight, that I could have seen everything that was to transpire, or that others had told me what they had personally seen. Maybe I would have gathered my wits earlier and fled to my freedom.

Who knows.

What I do know is I am not going to call practical strangers on the phone that I help at work and start a relationship. With anyone, young, old, or in-between, it could seriously get me fired.

So if you are out there and on the phone with tech support, do not, under any circumstances try and get the technician to call you outside the boundaries of their support. It is their livelihood you are playing with, and their self-esteem.

Man oh man, did mine take a nosedive, so sad, my mirror says one thing (glasses off, of course) than what society sees.

Should I give up my heels and just go with sponge like shoes, the ones that kinda squeak when you walk? Should I go ahead and buy an adult stroller? Have Tess push me around Wal-Mart?

Questions for the ages. I was feeling pretty good about myself, with the working out, the diet, the fascia blaster and face blaster. Now, all shot to Hades in a hand-basket. So very sad.

Any ideas on how to obtain a case of cats?

As usual any comments can be directed to angie@angieworld.com

Owasso Class of 1982 Reunion Weekend

I went to my class reunion this weekend, in Owasso, of course. It was a whirlwind trip that covered a host of emotions, experiences and amazement.

It is becoming jumbled so I am going to try to do this chronologically, I don’t know if I will succeed, we all know I am pretty scattered at times, but here goes.

Thursday evening was the drive to my favorite nephew’s home, in Claremore. I don’t even know if he can say he’s in Claremore because he is definitely in the country.

I had to wait until morning to see the countryside as I arrived after dark.

The greeting I received upon arrival was like a real homecoming. He and his wife were genuinely happy to see me, she even waited up to greet me. It was so great, they kept the baby up as well so I could get my baby loves! Loved that, he is so adorable! He is a really good genetic mix of the two of them, he has the best, most infectious smile. I truly loved spending time with all three of them.

Friday morning was catchup time with the favorite nephew, it has been way too long, phone calls are not the same.

Then it was time to go to Owasso, the place my heart lives, I started off with a trip to visit my parents and my son.

It has been way too long since I visited them, I was pleasantly surprised to find my brother there as well, I had been under the impression he was buried someplace else. Turns out he is next to our mom and dad, so I got to visit with him as well.

I love that cemetery, it is peaceful and hauntingly beautiful, the trees are perfect, the placement is perfect and I feel peace there. Before anyone says this is stupid, their souls are not there, I know that, I’m not stupid. However, I find it cathartic to talk to them in that place, therefore it is not stupid. We had a great talk, with me doing all of the talking, so, well, we all know I love doing the majority of the talking.

Next up was coffee and treat with my Best Friend, Tammi, we have been best friends since we were 13 years old. 13. Think about that.

We had the best time, coffee, small treat, talking, talking, talking, then the search for Owasso shirts. I have been literally dying for an Owasso Rams shirt for years. I didn’t want to order it online, I wanted to pick it out, try it on and buy it in Owasso. For me it didn’t count if it wasn’t purchased in Owasso.

I bought two, plus some OU slippers, it was a good day, oh and the socks! I found OU socks in Owasso! How great is that!

Followed by more shopping, more talking, more shopping, more talking, lunch, Mexican, of course. More shopping, talking, dinner, talking, more shopping, talking, dinner, talking. It was a great day. The best day in a really long time. The sightseeing, driving by old haunts, old houses and a tour of the city. Not to mention the impromptu photo shoot at the high school. So much fun was had by two Owasso girls.

The next day was the reunion, the reason for my visit, I have been looking forward to this day for what seems like an aeon.

I, of course, had to wear one of my Owasso Rams shirts and a mood necklace, yes, I said it, a mood necklace. It seemed to fit the mood of the day (see what I did there) and it’s cute.

I was suddenly nervous, I had not seen the majority of these people in 35 years, I knew most of them wouldn’t even know who I was. I also didn’t care, I just wanted to have fun and see everyone. Because I remember them, almost all of them, some I have zero memory of and it’s embarrassing, because of course, the ones I can’t remember, remember me.

I made sure Tammi was there to go in with, because that is what we do, it’s a girl thing, and a best friend thing.

First up was the name tag table, they had my name wrong, not blaming anyone, I am sure they got my name off of Facebook, where it says Angela, I asked if they had spare name tags so I could put my name on it. The woman at the table, sorry, I can’t remember who she was, graciously complied. She was very nice about the whole thing, which I appreciate.

So, with my Angie name tag, I was ready to face my classmates. I looked around the room and magically the years faded, we were all young, the boys all had full heads of hair and the girls were all unlined and slim. I haven’t hugged, smiled and laughed that much in years.

We caught up, we laughed, we met spouses and fell in love with a few spouses, ok one. I met my friend Randy’s wife and she is wonderful! Love her! Finding out we really don’t live that far away from each other was a bonus. I hope to see them before another reunion.

I was transported to a time when Foreigner was on the top 40 and we blasted Foreigner 4 on Pam’s stereo in her truck, down 169, singing at the top of our lungs.

I cannot say enough superlatives about the people who put this together. It was beyond fun for me, it was a homecoming with all that implies.

Owasso is more than just my hometown, it is the place I found myself, it was where I accepted myself in all my nerdy gloriousness. It was where I had real parents for the first time in my life, it is where I acquired my best friend for life. It was and will remain the most magical place on earth for me.

Vanity thy name is Angie

Vanity, such a small word, creates such a discussion. As we age, we are told vanity is a bad thing. But is it really? This is the age old question that plagues mankind.

From birth I was told I was the prettiest baby ever, then as a chubby checked adolescent I was told how pretty I was. I was going to break the boys’ hearts.

I remember my grandfather teaching me how to read, I was four. My grandmother walked into the room and said “she’s pretty, don’t make her into a bluestocking. She can make a good marriage.” It wasn’t until I read Gone with the Wind that I understood that sentence. I was twelve, I didn’t want to get married. Ever. I wanted to grow up to be the first girl Musketeer.

God bless my parents, they tried their level best to curb that vanity which had been instilled in my psyche since birth.

My dad would tell me how smart I was, while my mom would try and tell me the old adage, pretty is as pretty does.

True beauty, real beauty, starts from the inside and works its way outward. While that is all good and fine, vanity thy name is Angie.

I believe a healthy dose of vanity is a good thing. I know, I spent the last 2 to 3 to 4 years without my vanity. A shadow of myself, as it were. Once one loses the ability to care about what they look like on a daily basis, society as we know it begins to fall. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither are beauty queens.

It takes a lot of effort, time and money to look as good as I do. It gets a lot harder and more expensive as I advance in age.

If you truly are a person who doesn’t care about what you look like, let’s examine that for a minute.

Do you bathe?

Do you brush your hair?

Do you wash your face and moisturize?

Do you put on fresh clothes?

Do you make sure your clothes match?

I’m willing to bet there is a modicum of vanity in everyone.

I will be the first to admit it is working in overdrive in my DNA. I am pretty, I know I’m pretty, I do not suffer from false modesty. I do not have self-esteem issues. I do admit I had self-doubt for a few years, but that was due to me allowing another person to dictate how I felt about myself. Guess what, I’m back, I’m vain and I am not afraid to say I am proud of that.

Reunion, Boots and Tattoos

Ok, so, next weekend is my high school reunion. For those of you keeping track, it’s number 35.

I am stupidly excited about this, I ordered new boots, I hope they will be here before I leave on Thursday. They are over the knee, pink, high heels and incredibly awesome.

Why not go all out, they have the boots in red as well, I figured I’d start with the pink and if I love them I’ll go back for the red.

Lately I feel as if I am coming out of a dream state, ok, nightmare state. I am getting back to me, all the things I loved about me.

Boot obsession is one of those things, and sweater dresses. It’s the season and I look good in those things.

I am regaining my sense of fun and whimsy as well, along with my love of all things D.C. And Marvel.

So, for my upcoming birthday I have decided I want a new tattoo. I was thinking about the Superman symbol, I’ve wanted that for a long time. But then I thought if Dean Cain and I get married how weird would that be. I then had the thought, on Friday, the 13th, I want the number 13 incorporated somehow. 13 is a great number in my family. My mom and dad were married on a Friday the 13th. That number has alway symbolized great love and good fortune to me.

So now I want a tattoo with 13 incorporated in it somehow. I am going to really have to give this some thought.

As usual, any comments or questions can be sent to angie@angieworld.com.