Unappreciation

Do you ever feel unappreciated? Like the things you do on a daily basis go unnoticed? The people around you just expect what you do, so they never say thank you? I feel that way at times, and yes now is one of those. I do all the laundry, for every person in this household, I vacuum, I sweep, mop, dust all cleaning, except sometimes the Irishman does the dishes. I do all the shopping, and I seriously hate grocery shopping. I know I sound incredibly whiny, however, since this is my outlet, I reserve the right to whine once in a while.
I wonder if what I do on a daily basis is noticed, I doubt it, no one says thank you, I am exhausted with it all. Oh well, as women we rarely get a thank you, maybe when I die, God will say well done.
Ok, enough, even I am done with me at this point, coffee was good this morning, I have already done a load of dishes in the dishwasher, three loads of laundry and I am just getting started.
I plan to be productive today, tomorrow I want to go see a movie, yes, it will be Magic Mike, with the Irishman working Friday through Monday, we have no weekend days together anymore. This coming Wednesday, July 4th, he and I both will be working, so this coming week we will not even have Wednesday off together. Oh well, it is what it is, we will have Tuesday and Thursday evening to watch tv and catch up.
So, that is it today, I am feeling unappreciated and am very busy doing the things that make me feel unappreciated.

Deep Thoughts for a Friday

I often wonder what I will be like, or what my life will be like when I am 90, will I be as spry and lively as my grandmother or will I develop Alzheimer’s like my mom. And while I know my mom was not my birth mother, I still worry about it. I want so bad to be like my grandmother, my aunts and uncles all appear to have inherited her constitution, my birth mother died from emphysema, so you can’t count her, she smoked. She should have known better, Testermans cannot smoke without consequences. My grandfather used to tell me that, I believe him, I never smoked, well, ok once when I was like 6 years old. It was nasty, and smelled bad, who wants to do something that tastes bad and makes you smell bad. Not me.
It is Friday and I have deep thoughts, not a good combination, I would prefer to have frivolous thoughts on a Friday.
Next week is the birthday of our country, I will, of course, be writing a special AngieWorld for it, I am still developing it, so totally look for that. I will be working on the 4th of July, just 7 to 4. I will work 5 days next week, I don’t even know how to do that anymore! It will be a challenge, I know I will be tired by the time Friday next comes around, pray for me.
I foresee a ton of coffee in my future, just to let you all know, ok, that is a warning, run and hide.

Just Say No to Rielle Hunter

Rielle Hunter makes me physically ill, here is a woman that had an affair with a married man, who told her that she was not the only one, and his wife is dying of cancer. So, what does she do, takes her pants off, yes, that is kind of come on we all dream of. Um, no, no it isn’t, she has a new book out that details their “love” affair, including slamming his wife, might I add his dead wife, and proclaiming theirs a great love affair. Aren’t we all glad that John Kerry didn’t win the presidential election? If so, then this horrible man, along with his mistress, would have been number two. Number two is a good analogy for what they really are. I know enough press has been given to her, however, I had to get that out of my system as she was on the View this week and of course I watched. Love that Barbara Walters called her on the carpet for lying in the book regarding something that happened between the two of them. She didn’t back down either, love her, she is a little crazy in her golden years, but deservedly so. Please no one buy this insidiously evil woman’s book, let’s pay homage instead to Elizabeth Edwards, a woman who was always full of grace, kindness and courage. She is the only one that deserves any kind of recognition in this whole mess, I feel bad for her children to have to continually be slapped in the face with the reminder of how their father treated their dying mother.
Enough about that, yesterday was my day off, I had a spa morning, it was lovely, then took care of my youngest son. He had been in the heat the day before and had become dehydrated and had a touch of heat exhaustion. I pumped him full of gator ade and made sure he was drinking plenty of water. He called later to say the gator ade had actually done the trick, we talked of electrolytes and potassium, and staying hydrated in this weather. I hate the heat, I hate the 100+ searing heat that takes everything you have and stomps on you. There I am done ranting about something I cannot control.
Had a lovely dinner with the Irishman at our new favorite place, MsSwiggans, every time I say the name I think of Duck Tales. I don’t know why, but I do, I think there probably would have been a McSwiggans in Duckberg.
Working two days then the weekend, I am going to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday, it will be good. I hope everyone stays cool today and stays hydrated!

Drama, Tears and Fear

I hate it when my friends fight, that is the way I feel now when watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa and Jacqueline fighting is too much to watch, I feel they are both in the wrong and just need to say I’m sorry and move on. Teresa has no control over the tabloids, she does have a modicum of control over the US Weekly when she is on the cover, I do believe that. I want her to make up with her family and move forward, I want them to all get along like they used to. Well, Teresa never got along on the show with her cousin and sister in law, hopefully she will soon, on the show. I realize this was all taped a year ago, who knows what is going on now. When asked they all say, oh you have to watch and see, Teresa refuses to be on talk shows with her sister in law and cousin. It is all very confusing, I find myself sad and angry after watching now, I used to love, love, love (to quote Teresa) watching.
Army Wives is back with us, and just as manipulative as ever, I find myself alternating between crying and feeling shame that a show could manipulate my emotions like this one does. We find Claudia Joy dying on the operating table, then coming back to life, seriously, they cannot kill this actor off. Her characters death on All My Children in the 1980’s still makes fans well up. Then we have two women taken at gun point, one thinking she is losing twins, another her husband cheated on her. Just major drama, it is a roller coaster of a ride, this hour long emotionfest.
Today is my Friday and I am looking forward to it, tomorrow is facial time, so looking forward to that. Next week is the 4th of July, I will be working on the 4th, as will the Irishman, at least we will spend part of the day together.
Peace out homies!

Buffy, Coffee and Stuff

I’m sitting here drinking my coffee, watching Buffy, and contemplating my week, trying also to wake up. Sunday nights/Monday mornings are always a little tough, I go to sleep too late and have to wake up way too early. It is made better with my coffee, I did come to the conclusion the Irishman was correct, it was the brand of coffee that was making my stomach hurt so bad.
I don’t know what I would have done if it were actually coffee hurting me, that would have been a calamity of epic proportions. Can you imagine me with no coffee? Me either, without coffee is there even a me? Heady question for such an early morning.
This weekend was full, well Friday night and Saturday were, it was spent with Tessa, se is absolutely amazing. She was waiting for me when I got home on Friday, when we came inside she said Gigi, I miss Chewie, I said yeah me too. She looked at me and said I don’t think you should get another dog Gigi, you’re not ready. Wow, out of the mouths of babes. She is right of course, I don’t think I will ever be ready for another dog, Chewie was a once in a lifetime kind of companion, I feel honored to have gotten to be part of his life.
Saturday was filled with green pancakes and swimming, so much fun playing in the pool with Tess, she makes me young. After her dad, Jeffrey, came and picked her up, I collapsed in a heap of sheer exhaustion. There is a reason I had my children in my youth, I had energy, I took an incredible nap and then did nothing.
Sunday was spent doing nothing as well, I did a lot of nothing this weekend, and I am not afraid to admit it.
I do want to say watching the verdict being announced in the Sandusky case evoked emotions of relief for the victims of this horrendous man. Throughout the trial he seemed at times smug and others jovial, always a smile on his face. A smile. He devastated young boys lives, and he sat there smiling, his wife saying oh that never happened. I never heard anything. Didn’t she think it odd that he went into the basement with young boys? I would have. I hope the victims of this monster can rest a little easier at night knowing that their bravery helped stop his actions. They have saved future boys from this monsters hands, I pray for their peace of mind.
On a lighter note, I have a slight sunburn, I slathered myself in Hawaiian Tropic oil to try and get some color onto my incredibly white skin. I think the burn will turn brown, then I wont be so pale, would be nice if I had some color for summer.

Starbucks, Weight and Plastic Surgery

I have two problems today, well, ok honestly more than two, however two that are bothering me. First up, caffeine, coffee in particular, Wednesday my stomach started hurting. I believe I told everyone I was finally getting what the Irishman had and I was going to lose weight. Was very excited, however the pain went away as the day went on, I thought oh well. Then yesterday it came back with a vengeance, I narrowed it down to coffee, yes, my love betrayed me. The pains started about 45 minutes after I had ingested coffee, my co-worker and friend Jason said it was a sign I should give up coffee, he has been harping on this particular subject for a few weeks. I advised him that no one in their right mind would want to see me off of coffee.
I was talking it over with the Irishman and he said the pains started when I changed coffee brands, I have a habit of buying whatever is on sale and Costco had one on sale that I had picked up. I had never bought this particular one and I thought maybe he has a point. So this morning I am experimenting, I stopped at Starbucks and picked up a coffee. We all know that Starbucks and I have a very special relationship and they have never let me down. Well, yes, they have but it has been certain locations, not the brand in general. I stopped at my favorite location, Custer and Parker, love that one, today proved no different. Fast, friendly and professional, they are simply terrific. I’ll keep you all informed about the results of my experiment.
Next issue, my weight, come on you all had to see that coming a mile away. Yesterday I told Jason I need to lose 49 pounds; he just stared at me like I had lost my mind. He said Angie no way you need to lose that much, you’ll look bad, just bones. I explained to him since he is a black man he doesn’t understand; don’t be shocked, we have open honest conversations about what it means to be white or black in any given situation. So I explain to him that white men don’t like women who are not skinny, they want the size double 0. He said that is crazy, I said well welcome to my life. So when my other friends and co-workers Kissa and Kay come in, the conversation comes up again, this time, I was informed that I do not have a white girl figure, that I have more of a black girl figure with hips and thighs and those are never going away.
They are probably correct, as long as I can remember I have had huge hips and thighs, nothing makes them go away, even when I was a size 4, they were enormous. I don’t know what to do to get to where I want to be. I want to be so skinny that people tell me I need to eat; I have always wanted that, I think I need to stop eating altogether that might solve it. I work so hard for nothing, I’ll never be skinny, I’ll never be pretty enough, smart enough, oh wait, never mind the last one, I am really smart, except on this issue, then I turn into a crazy woman. If anyone knows how I can get white girl skinny, with really skinny thighs and hips, please tell me your secret, without plastic surgery. Can’t afford that at this point in my life.

5 Hour Fights and Dallas

Yesterday was my day off and I did nothing, yes, nothing, well a few loads of laundry, but really, I did nothing. And it was good. I did manage to watch a documentary on Ronald Reagan, they showed the moment when Nancy Reagan said goodbye to him. It still breaks my heart and I sob like a big fat baby, watching her heartbreak. Saying goodbye to a man she had loved so passionately for so long, just sad.
My stomach hurt yesterday, I think I am getting what the Irishman had, finally, I want to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. Keep your fingers crossed for me! So not fair that a person who does not need to lose weight got that particular illness. I don’t know why good things can’t happen to me.
Sunday night was another new episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, an explosive episode, the show down between Jacqueline and Teresa. I fully believe both women are wrong at that juncture, I know Jacqueline was concerned for Teresa, seeing all of the tabloid reports, however, you can’t expect your friends to tell you every detail of their lives. Now, on the other hand, seeing the tabloid, Teresa is going to jail, perhaps Teresa should have told Jacqueline, if things were really that bad I would have told you. Absolutely. It obviously is fine if Teresa is doing so much construction to her home, adding carports and garage apartments, not something that is cheap. Even if your husband does that for a living, you still have major expenses. I do not believe she doesn’t have control over the covers that she gets paid for; the tabloids are a different story. Those print whatever they want, they don’t care and they only pay informants. So both women in the wrong, seriously a 5 hour argument??? No way I would have sat there for that beating; I would have been done with that in 5 minutes.
Dallas was last night, I am seriously loving this evolution of the show, I love that they kept the theme, updating it of course, but the same sweeping tones, showing scenes of the city I love so much. The pure evilness of JR, just wow, Larry Hagman has not lost a bit of his timing. The younger actors could take more than a few lessons from him, he is pure greatness. One can tell he simply delights in playing this character, it comes across in his delivery, his expressions, everything. Love it, will continue to watch it.
So the Irishman has a new schedule that he begins next week, he will be working Friday through Monday, the only day off we will have together is Wednesday. With the new schedule, this week he works 6 straight days. So we had no day off together, we used to have Sundays, but this Sunday he will be at work, did I mention the hours, 11:00 am to 9:30 pm. It really is as if we are having a long distance relationship and we live together.

Cabana Boys and Starbucks

I need a vacation, a vacation where all I do is sit on a beach with a cabana boy bringing me alcohol treats with little umbrellas adorning the glass. I have so much to process right now, a vacation would do me good, my mind and my heart are full.
There is a part of me that wants so badly to go back home and be near my family, I miss them so much, it was so amazing seeing them this weekend. However I feel like I didn’t get to catch up with everyone, I could sit and talk to Richard for hours about family history. Listening to Larry’s stories was just greatness, I love his wife Donna, she is just a sweetheart. I feel as if I didn’t get to visit with Cindy long enough, I need to visit her one on one, but it was good getting to know Paula’s girls.
I will not be moving back to Oklahoma, I like Texas too much; it is just sometimes I wish I were more connected here. My children really keep me anchored here; they are Texans, through and through. Even though Jeffrey was not born here, he claims to be Texan. I wonder what would happen if I reminded him he was born in Oklahoma, he would probably just shake his head. As for me, well, I would love to live in New York, or Alaska, even Montana, I want to go somewhere cold, however, I would like to live where they have shopping as well. So, New York would be the best place for me, I don’t know how long I could handle it, before being driven completely insane, but I would love to give it a go.
I have a lot of things to say and I feel that I have a short amount of time to say them in, I don’t know why I feel such an urgency to impart every single thought in my head, but there it is. I feel a need to get it all out, even the inane things, like my addiction to caffeine, and yes I know it is an addiction. Even today I am having an inordinate amount of coffee.
I have it at home then bring it to work with me in my extra large Starbucks insulated cup, so good, so amazing. God’s way of saying I love you Angie, I will believe that till the day I die. I have traced back my caffeine addiction to my grandmother, she used to give me milk coffee when I was little and it grew from there. I will be forever grateful to her for giving me the elixir of life.

The More You Think, The More You Are

It’s Monday and I am exhausted from a very full weekend, I need another day to rest, oh wait, I will have that on Wednesday. No need to take a vacation day, I am loving this schedule.
Well, I ate my way through the family reunion so now it is time to get back to serious eating, my stomach hurt all day yesterday. Probably due to the sweets I am not used to consuming, but it was well worth whatever pain I felt. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Those people can cook, it totally skipped me, for which I will be forever grateful.
So this morning I sit with my coffee, still ruminating the events of the weekend, I will be for a long time to come.
As for now, it is time to get the day started, coffee has to be consumed, shower has been had, makeup and hair to come. The day will be great I just know it, if you believe it, then it will be so. I leave you with this thought, whatever the mind believes the body can achieve. I believe I will be successful today on my job, with my coworkers and in my personal life. Go out and make it happen.

Happy Father’s Day

I am still overwhelmed by the weekend, however today is Father’s day and I feel compelled to write about the two men whom I considered father figures in my life.
The first one was my Grandfather, he was my first male influence, he taught me how to read, he taught me about history, not only our family history, but our country’s history. They were intertwined, he had to teach both to me. He taught me about the land, farming, animals, how you had to take care of both because they take care of you. He was a great man with a great love of life, an amazing sense of humor and a love for God that had to be witnessed first hand to appreciate. He found humor in every day happenings and passed that on to me, to this day I miss him and tell stories about him to anyone who will listen.
Next up was my dad, he was my adopted dad, in blood lines he was my great-uncle, my grandfather’s brother. It will not be surprising to learn he was a lot like his older brother, he had a keen mind, a sharp sense of humor and a gentleness that was hard to resist. He taught me what it meant to help others in need, we might not have had a lot of material things but what we had, was shared. If he saw someone in need that person was helped, immediately. There was no great discussion, it was all action, he gave me a sense of pride in helping others. He had great wisdom, I believe that was his gift from God, wisdom, I didn’t always put into practice what he had to say, but I always listened. I hope he knows that he taught me so much, and as an adult I do put into practice much of what he taught me.
He was a man who loved the land, he was happiest working in the garden with his beautiful wife by his side. You can’t really picture him without her, they were a team, in every sense of the word. Their marriage was simply beautiful, they would laugh at each others silly jokes and sit side by side watching Wheel of Fortune every night. With them I witnessed the most romantic thing I have ever been privileged to see between a man and woman, they read the bible out loud to each other every night. Something so simple, yet so profound, they taught me not to settle for less than the best that God wants for us.
I miss you so much Grandpa and Dad, I hope that you are having the best time in heaven and I hope that you know how much you gave me, a simple little girl, while you were here on this earth.