Once and Again

The world is back to normal, today is my Friday, and yes, it included Starbucks, a skinny version of my normal. Plus, no Snowman cookie, it was incredibly hard not to order that thing this morning. Instead I have my skinny mint mocha with my cottage cheese and a fruit cup. I am a sad, sad person this morning; however since it is Friday I am strangely happy as well.
I keep waiting for the snow to come, it always starts off promising at 5:30 when I am leaving the apartment, it is cold and crisp, but then it warms up. Seriously, this needs to end, I need the cold to stay, I need snow this year. We had no snow last year, it was infuriating, I need it this year, I promise if it does not snow I will go insane, completely and thoroughly insane.
If my children are reading this, I need a Christmas list from you, I have Jeffrey’s, Tessa is almost done, so that leaves Elizabeth Anne and Alex, get those in! Oh, wait, Alex told me what he wants, so, that leaves just Elizabeth Anne, she is a little slow this year, usually by now I know exactly what she wants. I know a few things and I have gotten all three a very special gift, which I am so excited to give them, I really hope they love it.
Last night was Arrow, I am really loving that show, they are doing justice to the mythology of the comic. Last night, just for trivia buffs, the guest star was Jeffrey Nordling who was on Once and Again with Susanna Thompson who plays Oliver Queen’s mother. I loved Once and Again, the stars were Sela Ward and Billy Campbell, they played divorced parents who meet in the carpool lane at their children’s school. It gave hope to every single mother sitting in a carpool lane, although very few of us looked like Sela Ward and I guarantee there were no dad’s that looked like Billy Campbell sitting around. However, it was well done, beautifully acted and of course short lived, because truly intelligent television doesn’t last long.

Snowman Cookie Deprived

Welcome to Wide Awake Wednesday, it is the time for dancing and celebrating, you made it to another middle of the week! Why yes, I have had coffee, so nice of you to ask, and no, it is not too much. It is just enough of the sweet nectar of the gods to provide much needed energy. Let us all recognize that this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. I love that song!
Well I am day three and no sugar, well, no cookies and candy, I am having fruit, so I guess that is natural sugar. So day three with no Starbucks snowman cookie, I am grieving at saying goodbye to my friend the snowman, he and I had a good run. I looked him up on the Weight Watcher points; he alone is 11 points, that is like 2 meals! In one little, harmless looking cookie! That man is pure evil; he is sweet, sugary, amazing evil. I miss him.
As you all might know I have a love/hate relationship with food, I love food, I am not a foodie, I have the dietary tastes of a 10 year old. I love things like puffy Cheetos and snowmen cookies, mini tacos from 7-Eleven, it is really sad. I wish I were one of those food snobs, who like only the best ingredients and makes things from scratch. But no, I like only things that are bad for me, things that create a wondrous party in my mouth. Like the snowman cookie, that first bite, first the hat, the cookie itself melts in your mouth, the icing is just a perfect blend of sugar and cream cheese. When you bite into it and allow the taste to settle into your tongue, it is just perfection.
Contentious, that is my relationship with food; I seriously wish I could eat anything I wanted and never gain an ounce. My BFF, Tammi, is like that, always skinny, always able to eat what she wants, when she wants. I am so jealous! But not in a bad way, in a good way, a way that makes me work hard and stay half way decent looking.
I will be eating on Christmas, no point counting, no looking, just eating, sugar cookies, no bake cookies, honey baked ham, dressing, green bean casserole, the whole nine yards. Oh and don’t forget deviled eggs, love those things!

Back on the Wagon

So I have stepped back onto the wagon after a huge falling off, I cannot believe I allowed things to spiral out of control like I did. But I am back on, watching every bite that goes into my mouth and I will let you know at the end of the week how it is going. So far, one day down, it is going good. Although I really want a Santa cookie from Starbucks, however I am resisting. I will have to see how many points it will cost me to eat it, that may cure me of any lingering desires.
The past week was a blur, it was busy and non-stop, first off I worked 5 days last week, and I know what you are thinking, well, Angie I work five days a week every week. For me it was 3 10 hour days followed by 2 eight hour days. Then it was waking up and going into the studio to record with Shanon on Saturday, we had such a great conversation! Then there were technical difficulties and our new show did not air Saturday evening. But that’s ok, I told Shanon perhaps God knew better than us and someone out there needed to hear that one again, or for the first time. So a new show will be on this coming Saturday, I hope you all will listen. After the studio was the grocery store, which I loathed, I hate grocery shopping, but I did it and then home to my pajamas and laundry.
I have had Jeffrey’s dog while the kids were out of town, and he called Saturday and asked if I wanted to bring Russ back on Sunday. I told him that made me happy because I was already in my pajamas. He said that I could also help him and Tess decorate their Christmas tree on Sunday. A good time was had by all, we decorated and laughed and had a good time. Back home for more laundry, ugh, it never ends.
I did it again people, I watched The Walking Dead before trying to fall asleep on Sunday night, I don’t know why I did it. Spoiler alert, if you have not watched it, stop reading, Carl was so sweet when he named the baby. He chose his third grade teachers name, Judith, that is a good name, a strong name, that baby is going to need a strong name. How creepy is that Governor, man, I would not want to meet up with him, on a dark street, a lit street or any street. He has so many creepy things going on in that town; I can’t wait till he and Rick meet up. He made a major mistake taking Glen and Maggie, and what did he do to Maggie? He is in for it! I can hardly wait for next week.

Vengeance

Vengeance. What a delicious word, we all dream about it, taking vengeance on someone that has wronged us. I am not talking illegal things here, I am talking immoral things, I am talking the somebody done me wrong things. As the song goes.
Here is my question, when you have the opportunity to exact vengeance, do you? The bible tells us that vengeance belongs to God; it is not ours to mete out. It is in our human nature to want to right the wrongs, but is it the right thing to do.
I, personally, am a person who has the nature to want to seek out those who have wronged me and mete out punishment. I fight this all the time, I know exactly which relative I inherited this from, my grandmother, I know without a doubt she was a woman that could have sought vengeance and dealt the punishment without impunity. I never saw her do this, but I know her nature as I have inherited it, I am so much like her it is a little scary.
I saw no evidence whatsoever that my mother possessed this human frailty, if she did; she was very good at putting a lid on it. I strive to be more like my mother, but it is a daily battle, the urge to exact vengeance on all that have wronged me is so strong. I fight with it; it is human nature, not a Christian nature. So, to trust that God will take care of everything is incredibly difficult. We may never see the havoc wrecked in another person’s life for all of the things they have done. Because trust me, if they have wronged you, they are not that great with others. They have wronged a lot of people in their lives; it will come home to roost. You reap what you sow, I am a firm believer in that, if you sow lies and you cheat your way through life, then in the end that will come directly back to your nest.
God has a funny way of working things out, I do believe He has a sense of humor, my life is proof of that, my very existence at times is proof of that. If you look closely believe at times He does allow us to see what has happened as a result of the action of others. So, instead of exacting vengeance, I step back, I don’t do anything and simply pray. I actually have learned, in my life, to pray for those who have behaved in a less than honorable way towards me. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to learn, but I did, and I am better for it. If we can learn the hardest lessons in life, to let go and actually walk in faith and not in sight, then our lives are better for it. We have peace where others have none; we have an assuredness that in the end, we get to go home. That is the best feeling of all.

Home

This time of year I become very nostalgic, I miss Owasso the most this time of year. I miss the changing of the leaves, I miss the crispness of the air, I miss the expectations of snow. I miss Friday pep rallies and the excitement in the air, the promise of a football game well played. I miss going to Sonic after the pep rally with my besties. Tammi, Tonya and Pam, driving down 169 with Urgent blaring and us sing off key at the top of our lungs.
Most of all I miss my mom and dad, I miss hearing the stories of our ancestors, I miss the warmth of being in their home. I miss the Skate Ranch on Friday nights; I miss the sense of belonging that I felt there, in that place, in that time.
I have not felt that sense of belonging in any other place I have been to since; I don’t know if I will ever recapture it. Don’t get me wrong, I feel a sense of belonging when I am with my Ladies that Lunch crew, I felt it in my Mary Kay meetings led by Sandi. I never felt it in the PTA meetings at the schools in Plano. I don’t feel at home in Plano, maybe because it isn’t my hometown. Maybe, just maybe, one only feels truly at home in their hometown. I know that is the case with me, perhaps others feel that as well, I don’t know.
I do know I felt a tremendous sense of homecoming this past summer at my family reunion, I have not felt that in a long time. It was nothing short of amazing, but it still does not compare to how Owasso makes me feel.
When I drive into the city itself these days nothing resembles what I grew up with, there are more stores, more housing developments and even the landscape of the school has changed. But nothing changes the feeling that the city of Owasso imparts to my soul. It says welcome home, we’ve been waiting for you, I feel in that moment welcomed by an invisible force. It is inviting, warm and loving, it is as if I never left, the people are the same friendly faces I remember. I drive down Main Street, and while some of the buildings have changed, the feeling has not; it still emanates a slower pace of life, a time gone by, a place where speedy decisions are not made.
I know I will never move back, but in my heart, Owasso will always be my home.

Speed

I find myself irritated today; I would like to remind the people who like to drive slow that you have something in your car called a gas pedal. Accelerate; it is called that for a reason! Please refer to your driver’s manual and learn how to use it. Driving 50 miles per hour on a highway is not acceptable; making it where I cannot pass you is inexcusable. Just a not, I drive fast, it is ingrained in me, I think I inherited it from my dad and my grandpa, that song I can’t drive 55, well I fully believe it was written for my family. My dad used to point to a speed limit sign and tell me “see that number?” me: “Yes sir” him: “that number is just a suggestion”.
I spend more time after getting to my destination asking God’s forgiveness for the things I have said about other drivers than I did actually getting to my destination. This morning on the way to work there were more people on the road than normal as this is Black Friday and they want their deals. It seems the slowest drivers decided that it was a good time to get on the highway. Go back home people; no deal is worth irritating me for!
I stopped at Starbucks today, of course as it is Friday, I got to stop at my favorite location, Custer and Parker, love that store. My favorite barista was working, my coffee treat is perfection and I got a snowman cookie. Don’t judge me; I plan on being fat and happy for Christmas, think and miserable for New Years. That is my plan.

My Thoughts on Thanksgiving

It is the day before a major American holiday that most people associate with food, when in reality it is supposed to be a day of reflections and giving thanks. On Thursday, September 24, 1789, the first House of Representatives voted to recommend the First Amendment of the newly drafted Constitution to the states for ratification. The next day, Congressman Elias Boudinot from New Jersey proposed that the House and Senate jointly request of President Washington to proclaim a day of thanksgiving for “the many signal favors of Almighty God”. Boudinot said that he “could not think of letting the session pass over without offering an opportunity to all the citizens of the United States of joining, with one voice, in returning to Almighty God their sincere thanks for the many blessings he had poured down upon them.” Interesting, no mention of turnkey, dressing or football, it begs the question, when did this sacred American holiday become bastardized? It is now only about food, football, dysfunctional families and shopping. Yes, shopping, let us all get up and leave our families, sit in the cold and make a mad dash into the store to grab up some electronic device that we really don’t need in the first place.
What I am proposing is that we get back to what Thanksgiving was really supposed to be about, don’t do away with the food, family and yes you can keep your football, but let’s really give thanks to God for all that we have in this country. Let us sincerely pray for the leaders of our country that they will indeed make good decisions for us and let us pray for our friends, family and neighbors.
I am beyond thankful I was born an American citizen, I am proud to be an American, if you do not want to be in this country, we are not stopping you from leaving. I am tired of people who live here, who are not from here, bad mouthing this place, this country, who has given so many so much. So this Thanksgiving, let’s really give thanks, I know I am thankful that I have the opportunity to work and make the money that will pay for Christmas without me going into debt to provide a nice Christmas for my children and grand child.
What are you thankful for this year? I would love to hear from you.

Christmas Ideas

After this week I have four weeks of work left before I am off of work for 2 weeks, I am so excited I can barely stand it. I will be off for Christmas and New Years; I will sleep till I wake up, hopefully spend some time with Tessa and play with my dog.
Speaking of Christmas, the last time I was with Tess I asked her what she thought she was going to get from her Gigi for Christmas. She said I don’t know but I think it is going to be a surprise. So I asked her what she was going to get her Gigi for Christmas. She said, without hesitation, a dog, a big dog, it’s time Gigi, you need a new dog. I can only pray her father ignores that, because I don’t know if I am ready for a new dog. I am not sure I trust what her idea of a big dog is; I may end up with a Mastiff. One never knows with that child.
For all of you listening to Conversations with Shanon J and Angie B, I thank you, you can now listen to previous shows on our website http://www.convosate.com, the site also has our email addresses on there. Please email us and let us know your thoughts, we would love to hear from you, also anything you would like us to talk about. Send us your show ideas.
Today will not be long, I am very tired and wish I could take a nap before work, however I do not think that is going to work out too well.

Weekend Happenings

This weekend was both uneventful and yet fun filled, I know, only I could accomplish this in one weekend. I admit, if I had not had to go out and replenish my coffee supply and pick up something for Elizabeth Anne, I would never have gotten out of my pajamas on Friday. But I did, and I went on an errand and went to Costco, very exciting stuff!
On Saturday I had headshots taken! Now that was exciting, I want to tell everyone if you need any type of photography done, from family photos to weddings to headshots, J.Renee Photography is the way to go, check them out at http://www.jreneephotos.com, this is the son of my dear friend Sandi, Jason, he is fantastic. It is just amazing to me to see the children I have watched grow up, become productive young adults, not only productive, but talented and just all around fantastic.
Then it was back home to watch television again, love that! I admit I am a television junkie, I cannot get enough. I have no shame about it either, I don’t understand people who say, oh I never watch television. To them I say LIAR, you know they are lying; they just don’t want to admit to the junk they love watching. I fully admit to all of the good and bad television I love so much.
Sunday was spent with Elizabeth Anne; I wish I had the appropriate words in my vocabulary in which I could impart all of the fun we have together. She makes me laugh so hard I cry. We spent part of the time in a Care Now, she thought she had pink eye, turns out it was an allergic reaction to hay. The best part was when she asked the Doctor, can you get pink eye from poo particles, I saw that on Knocked Up. The Doctor said that was a great movie, but no. I was laughing so hard, I had already told her you cannot get pink eye from that. No one ever trusts my wisdom, if it was on Knocked Up it must be true. I told her I don’t think you can go by anything you learn from a Judd Apatow movie. Love his movies but they are not exactly documentaries based in fact.
We went shopping, where she bought something for the gift exchange with her dad’s side of the family, I wish I could tell what she got, but I can’t in case one of them reads me. But it is greatness; I told her I want to hear all about it and who ends up with her gift.
Last night was The Walking Dead, I really should not watch that home alone by myself, in the dark, it is just terrifying. The writing is amazing, the actors are just terrific and it is about so much more than zombies. The range of human emotion and the way some sagas will never change even in the face of the apocalypse is just well done. If you are not watching this show you should really find it and watch from season one, well worth time spent in front of the television for this.