It’s here, Christmas, well, Christmas Eve to be exact, this is the day that we celebrate as a family. My family is bigger this year, with an added son-in-law and Alex is bringing his girlfriend; bigger is better. It was good with the four of us, now there are more and it is greatness, I love that we have more people at the table.
This time of year is a double-edged sword for me, I love it and I hate it, I hate it due to the fact that I miss my mom so much. This was our time of year, she would hide the presents and I would find them. It was our game, and we loved it, one year she thought she had out done me. That I had not found that years presents, however, I did, and she knew, but we did not confess until years later that I found them and she knew I had found them.
I still remember the first time I couldn’t go home for Christmas; I was pregnant with Elizabeth Anne, very pregnant to be exact. My doctor laughed at me when I asked if I could sit in a car for 5 hours to go home. I took that as a no, I called my mom to tell her I would not be home, she told me it was ok, she had been expecting the call. She told me not to do anything foolish, don’t do anything that would put the baby at risk. She then told me no matter what, she knew that my heart would be with hers for Christmas.
She was the first person in my life that made me feel like I belonged, my grandparents did their best, but I always knew I wasn’t like my cousins. I didn’t have a mom and dad that wanted me, I lived with grandma and grandpa and great aunt Effie. They lived with their mothers and fathers, I was different, I didn’t belong, I would like to reiterate here, they never said anything to make me feel like this. My cousins loved me, I just knew I was different, then God gave me parents.
A mom and dad that loved me, taught me things, accepted my nerdiness, in fact encouraged it, along with being outside and active.
I pray my children know that no matter where their lives take them, their hearts will always be with me, that I will always be in their corner. As of now, their lives are close to mine, I can spend time with them, see them and talk to them without hundreds of miles separating us. I am blessed beyond belief and am grateful for it.
So, today, the day we celebrate as a family, the birth of Christ, our Lord and Savior, I am reminded of how much I have been given. I was given grandparents, a great aunt, aunts and uncles and cousins who loved me. Then I was given parents that loved me and guided me into adulthood and prepared me for motherhood. I have been blessed with friends who became family, friends who have seen me through some of the toughest times in my life.
I have no complaints, no what if’s or druthers, I have a future to look forward to as I know God will continue to work in my life. Bringing me friends and new family members to add to my many blessings.