Jeffrey Andrew

Today is a day that will live in infamy. Well, at least in our family. Today is the day that my beautiful, oldest son Jeffrey was born. In 1985. 1985. It seems like just a moment ago you were holding my hand and thinking I had all the answers to the universe.

You were always curious, energetic and had great introspective.

My favorite memory of your toddlerhood is when you three years old, we were driving past a fire station. You told me that you wanted to grow up to be the person that fixes the fire trucks. I asked why that job. Most little boys wanted to be a fireman. You said “mommy, someone has to make sure the firemen gets to the fire.”

That sentence sums up who you were and who you continue to be. The caretaker. I love you so much son, your strength, your character and your ability to make sure the firemen get to the fire.

I thank God every single day that I get to be your mom. I also thank Him every day that you allow me to be a part of your daughter’s life.

On this day, the day that you were born, I celebrate the privilege of being chosen to be your mom.

I love you son.

Run Away!

There is an episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelai laments that the Lorelai look is over. I so totally commiserate with this, the Angie look is over. I literally cannot find clothes I love anymore.
I love a good boot cut jean that sits a little low in the waist, not super low, just below the belly button. Shirts fitted, always fitted, I am not into loose, I never have been. No matter my size, I might add.
With the rise in skinny jean popularity Angie style has gone the way of the dinosaur. I hate skinny jeans, just FYI, I feel like I am an encased sausage. I love a good flare with super high heels. I actually look like I have long legs, I look good! I have a ton of shoes to go with that look.
Now, I do like a good pair of jeans tucked into boots in the winter as well, only a skinny jean can pull that look off. Otherwise the ankles on the boots look like you have cankles. Not a good look people!
If anyone finds any Angie jeans please let me know, do a friend a favor. A fashion favor, as it were.

Today was a great day, I am going to start a cleanse, using essential oils and minerals. I will also be going back to the 3 in 30, you know, absolutely no grains, no dairy and no processed sugar. All for thirty days, also no eating out, as it is just too hard to do while on this. I will begin on Sunday and will report back.
Fair warning to all of my friend and family, the first week I will not be pleasant. I will be grouchy and snarly, I will bite if provoked.
The end result will be me looking amazing for my high school reunion, our 35th high school reunion, I might add.
I seriously can’t wait to see everyone and just have a good time.
Oh, speaking of, Elizabeth Anne is making fun of me for saying that I traveled with my coffee maker. I see nothing wrong with this, I love my coffee and love my coffee maker, I have whole coffee beans and my coffeemaker grinds them before making the coffee. It is fresh and amazing, every single time. Why would I leave that at home? It is one of the loves of my life, for my cleanse, though, I have to give it up. No coffee for thirty days, I don’t even comprehend what I have agreed to.
No coffee, I know I only drink coffee on my days off now, but that is literally 24 cups of coffee a week I am giving up. I can’t even do the math, it is too incomprehensible. Maybe I should live in a cave for a few weeks, not be around humans, humans might appreciate that.
I give up sugar all the time, then I fall off the wagon, what makes this different is I can have dark chocolate and local honey.
I can do this, I have to do this, my looks depend on it.
As usual any comments can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com

Heaven

What I am about to say might make more than a few people unhappy with me. That’s pretty normal though, I have a knack for doing that. It is very controversial in today’s Christian community, what I am about to say, so read at your own risk.
Whenever someone dies I have seen and heard people saying oh so and so is now looking over you from heaven. Or, the ever popular, they are an angel now.
I don’t believe either, as a matter of fact the Bible dispels that quite handily.
Take for example: “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
What that says to me is that everyone who is in Heaven is at perfect peace, no more tears, no more sorrow. If they are looking down at what is going on here, on earth, is that a peaceful existence? I think not, I for one, believe that if my mother saw how much I still grieve for her she would be saddened. Therefore not at perfect peace, there would be sorrow in her heart that I am sad.
Or, if my dad could see what the last couple of years of my life had been like, he would have been angry with me for putting up with so many things. Once again, not at perfect peace, his heart would be in pain for what I allowed to happen and how I was treated.
I don’t want to think that when we die that we will still know what is going on here on earth. I want to think of my mother walking down that street of gold, whistling her little heart out. When she was happy, she whistled, so I know she is whistling in heaven.
I want to think of my grandpa working on a car, or doing biblical research all day long. That is what made him happy.
My grandmother happily watching The Days of Our Lives and eating candy.
I don’t want them to have sorrow and tears in Heaven.
The Bible tells us other things as well: “The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, the lion shall eat straw like the ox, and dust [shall be] the serpent’s food. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain,” says the LORD (Isaiah 65:25).
What that says to me is that animals will be there, none will be harmful, poisonous or predatory. I’ll finally be able to pet a lion and I will be quite joyous.
We also do not turn into Angels, Angels are God’s creation, separate from man. God created man to have freewill and come to Him willingly, joyfully. Angels were created to do God’s bidding, to obey Him without condition or freewill.
When I die, I will not be watching what is happening on earth, I will be incredibly busy catching up with my mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, great aunt Effie and my son, Michael. I will also be seeing a host of aunts, uncles, cousins and now my brother Jesse.
I look forward to it, I am not afraid to die, I don’t want to die, well, ever, but I have no fear of it.
I will be petting lions, seeing Nocona and rejoicing at the throne of God.
If you don’t agree with me, well, that is your freewill, I for one, do not want to think that my dead loved ones are watching my every move. I want to know I am truly alone when I am in certain places and doing certain things.
As usual, any comments or disagreements can be issued here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com

Missing

The beginning of August is always a little bumpy for me, Michael’s birthday is today August 9, my mom passed on August 11, and now August 3 will be a little rough as that is the day my brother Jesse passed.
As most of you know I am adopted, everyone should really know that by now as it is, for better or worse, part of my identity.
Jesse was the youngest of my siblings, he was 20 years older than I. Even at that, he was a really great big brother in my teenage years. Jesse always had a mischievous glint in his eyes, even as an adult, you could tell there was something there, just under the surface, waiting to come out. A funny joke, a stinging comeback (for which we are all famous for) or comforting words.
He was equal parts funny, sarcastic, caring and a good son to my parents.
There is one time in particular that always comes to mind:
One day I was sitting in the den watching television and Jesse walked in. He didn’t say a word he just sat down next to me. He sighed heavily instigating the tell me what’s wrong conversation.
He looked at me and said you know Angie I told my kids that they shouldn’t even try to think of anything ornery to do because I’ve done it all. There is nothing you can think of that I have not done.
He was right about that, he was a really ornery child according to my parents. The original Dennis the Menace, please note, in my family orneriness is a gift.
I looked at him and said you’re stupid, you didn’t give your kids a warning, you issued a challenge.
He looked at me and said I realize that now. He went on to say those kids of mine thought of things I would never have thought to do.
I laughed for a solid five minutes because I knew that was true.
All three of his children were true Testerman’s, funny, smart and mischievous in nature. All of those traits are considered positive in my family.
This world will miss his humor, the glint in his eyes, the smile that made you wonder what he was up to and when the other shoe would drop.
I am completely grateful my daughter, Elizabeth Anne, traveled to Owasso with me to say goodbye. There are many things I will never talk about here, just know, that girl is my rock star, my hero, my protector when needed.
As usual, any complaints, comments or just to tell me how awesome I am can be left here or sent to angie@angieworld.com